Kids do need their parents in their lives but how the parents choose to exist and affect the child’s life, makes a great deal of a difference. We as parents usually think we are always correct about everything.
We have this stigma in our heads that we can never be wrong as parents. We tend to let our age and experience blind us of the needs of our children.
It is very important to understand that different style of parenting is required at different ages of our children. Every child is unique in his own kind, to understand our children and act accordingly is very important. Parenting can sometimes be repugnant and disastrous if not done right.
Understand that your actions today will reciprocate in your children’s future. It’s your job to make sure that your child does not have physical, mental or emotional disturbance in his/her future. We normally focus on the physical rather than understanding the emotional.
Toddler-hood and its tyranny
Toddler-hood is the most difficult age, parents are usually reconsidering their decision to have a baby because it can be that difficult. Parents get exhausted with all the crying and weird sleep patterns.
What parents do wrong is that they start fighting each other for who spends more time with their kids. Mostly it is the mother complaining about lack of attention by the father.
The most simple and elegant solution to this is, why fight something you can not control? You have to understand your child’s weird appetite and sleep pattern. There are several books which help you recognize the cognitive development of your child. It is not that difficult.
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For example, if your child is always running after green objects and is trying to eat it, replace all the non-edible green stuff with something else.
Understand your child rather than forcing him to change his patterns. You can not train a toddler to poop in the washroom, right?
Exactly. This is the age where your child requires utmost love and attention. Especially a mother’s love can do wonders with a toddler.
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This is the period where your kid will be the most stupid thing you’ll ever see. Now, most of the parents get mad and angry at their kids for being unbearable. Scolding might work for the time being but this habit is making your kid arrogant and grumpier.
This kind of behavior could result in your kids being aggressive and according to research kids which are exposed to scolding and hitting are more likely to be criminals.
Middle childhood is where your child starts to develop taste for everything, starting from opinions on this world to fashion. These opinions and thoughts will stay with your child for the rest of his days.
This is the period where you need to give your child his/her space to explore the world and conclude opinions about this world. It is not necessary to be very involved during this period nor you should leave them on their own.
Your guidance is what they seek, do not try to enforce your judgement on them, that might drive them away.
However, you should show love and care towards them. Tell them different stories about your childhood and how you coped up with friends driving away or first crush etc.
Your experiences will help them flourish their own decisions. This is the age when your child is deciding what they want to do, academically. Help them out rather than enforcing what is best for them. What you want them to do is not important, what they want you to do for them is important.
Guide them about different professions, etc. They want to be an astronaut or something which can be delusional for the time being, let them dream. It’s the right age for them to dream rather than facing the harsh realities of life.
Adolescents and the weirdest period of their lives
You can’t do much for them in this period because now your child has realized that he has his/her rights and can turn you to the law.
However, it is very important for parents to be very delicate with their children and make them aware of their gender and the troubles people face during this time.
Now you have to treat them as an equal. You can no longer guide them properly by behaving as a parent, you need to be their friend at this moment.
If your kid is weak and bad at sports, there’s a probable chance of him being bullied or being bad with girls. This is the time when a boy needs his father the most.
Consoling your son and passing on experience is quite important at this age. Make him feel like he isn’t the only one who is going through a bad time. There are many like him and give him the confidence to stand up to the bullies and girls!
Your girl is learning new things and new experiences. She just had her period and needs someone to be there for her. Yes she does have friends but no one can console her better than a parent. Take her out for food. Get her the dress or game she has been wanting for a long time.
Everything she says and does is justified for now. Guide her about how bad guys can be and how worst girlfriends can be. Girls can be delicate and weird at this age.
Many girls go through a lot during this age. This stereotypical thinking process that only boys go through bullying is old school now. Girls go through a lot too. They have emotional stress to look good in parties and school.
You need to understand that girls at this age need pampering and constant care.
Hope this article helps you out with parenting and raising your children by being close to them. Love and nourish your child and raise them to be our better.
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